Hi there, Hero! Heard you wanted
Peace and quiet so, undaunted,
You determined you would just retire.
But some guy you once offended
Snarls, “Don’t think my anger’s ended!”
Now your entire family’s under fire.
He took your wife, he took your daughter
And your son; you know you oughter
Call the cops but that ain’t gonna happen.
You’re the movie’s lead lifesaver
So you go call in some favors,
All of whom are armed. That jerk needs cappin’!
Meanwhile, Mr. Bad waits, humming;
He’s aware your army’s coming
And he’s got a big surprise for you.
Half the movie’s spent reducing
All the troops you planned on using
Till there’s only one guy left. Guess who?
Cue the final showdown—family
Threatened, screaming, while you manly
Types both clash in battle, hand-to-hand…
But we needn’t worry, should we?
Mr. Bad’s death is a doozy
And your family’s safe… cut. That’s THE END.