I’ve been watching short wide movies
On a tall and narrow screen;
I see tall and skinny people
(You all know just what I mean)
Or the picture’s way too little,
Black above it and below—
Gotta buy a widescreen TV
Or to movies I must go.
Now my wall’s a moving picture
Stretching 80 inches wide.
Though my head aches from the eyestrain
(And I’m taking that in stride)
Seems the channel that we’re watching
Wasn’t shot in letterbox
So it’s black on both the edges.
My whole family sits and mocks.
There’s an irony at work here
But I don’t appreciate it
‘Cause we like to watch old TV shows
Whose values are outdated.
It’s no fun to spend a fortune
For the wasted real estate…
Guess I’ll set the zoom to “widescreen”
So the cast looks overweight.