Apple doesn't like listing me as "Will Shakespeare (poetry blogger)"
to differentiate me from the other guy, although everybody else does.
They took my first book but now won't take new ones. (Go figure.)
Since Smashwords distributes my books to Apple anyway,
just go to my Smashwords author page and download EPUBs from there.
Smashwords provides samples of my books also.

Friday, May 30, 2014


An acrostic poem—the first letter
of each line spells “unenthused.” Plus,
lines starting with the same letter use the same words.
It even SOUNDS unenthused, doesn’t it?

Unless things pick up around here,
Nobody should
Expect us to stay awake.
Nobody should
Think we even WANT to stay awake.
How can they expect us to stay awake
Unless things pick up around here?
Still, you KNOW the boss will
Expect us to stay awake.
Don’t wake me before five, that’s what I say.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Joust a Fad, Thankfully

Two large men in heavy armor,
Each upon a mighty steed,
Meet upon the field of battle
After drinking too much mead.

Each one charges toward the other
Brandishing a wooden lance;
Hopes his blow unseats the other,
Knocks him on his iron pants.

This was once considered valiant,
Drove the cultured ladies wild
Though the knights might not survive it.
Why are men so juvenile?

Monday, May 26, 2014

The Squirrel Cliché

To be “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed”
Should mean I feel alright…
But if MY tail was bushy,
I’d just stare in shock and fright!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Overcooked Pork

Sometimes you just have to write a dirty limerick…

Obese gals were Benjamin’s fetish…
And Sally was feeling coquettish.
‘Neath her hectic lovemakin’
Ben sizzled like bacon;
She left him all wrinkled and reddish.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Squeeze Bottle

Started the day
Full of life—
The pressure came
And I was ready!
Demands from department heads?
No problem.
Demands from the boss?
I looked like a champ…
But the day dragged on
And I started to struggle.
Started to wander;
My best efforts
Came in spurts;
Folks complained.
I didn’t care.
Running on empty,
I dragged on home
Where the love of my life
Demanded attention.
I rolled my eyes…
And gave her the razzberry.

Monday, May 19, 2014

No Title Yet

A blank page lies before me,
Ready for almost anything—
Maybe an epic poem or
Lyrics that cause a heart to sing;
Maybe an ugly doodle or
Tales of depression, tales of woe…
Maybe a list of groceries
Or errands to do before I go.

Maybe I’ll just do nothing,
Carelessly let it go unused
And, when I’m asked why I did it,
Use “I’m too tired” as my excuse.
No matter what the reason,
Pages like this are something vital;
Even if I don’t use it,
This page at least deserves a title.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Mailbox Down

In a cold cold rain
On a wet wet road
A reckless car
Had an episode
With our poor mailbox
At the edge of town.
We had no clue
It would be run down
By a careless man
In a big new Ford—
He flattened it like
A rampaging horde!
We tried to save it,
There in the dark…
But that deadly killer
Had hit his mark;
Now the victim lies
In the cold cold mud
Where that big new Ford
Made a great big THUD.

We’ll put cement blocks
Where our old friend fell
So the next big Ford
Doesn’t fare so well.
The end… of the mailbox.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Moon in a Blue Sky

The full moon shines in a blue spring sky;
It seems so odd. I don’t know why
The moon is out—it’s a beautiful sight—
But the night’s not here. It’s just not right.

I don’t see the sun but it hasn’t set;
I don’t see the sun but it’s not dark yet.
The sky is blue, the moon is bright
But the night’s not here. It’s just not right!

You’re shaking your head like I’m sniffing glue;
You think I don’t know… but I already do.

Yes, it’s true…
The moon can shine when the sun is bright
And can hide itself in the darkest night.

The night’s not here and it’s just not right
That a blue sky’s lit with a full moon’s light!

Monday, May 12, 2014


I got a long little doggie.
He’s got short little legs.
He gets what he wants
But he never, ever begs.
He’s a barker and a yipper
Who ignores what I say;
A stubborn little nipper
Who demands his own way.
When he’s happy, he’s a fun dog;
When he isn’t, he chews!
But I’ll keep him; he’s the one guy
My girl can’t refuse.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Foot Rub

It’s been a long day
And my dogs are barking;
They’re in need of your attention.
Hey, animal lover!
Won’t you cuddle these puppies?
They’re in pain from so much tension!

Their muscles ache
As they lie and wait;
Hear them whimper when you draw near…
Then they lose their minds
In a bliss sublime
From the footlong orgy here!

I know some prefer
More erotic thrills;
Sucking toes is kinda kinky…
But what turns me on
Are your magic hands
When my dogs are tired and stinky!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Quarter Horse

Little Tex saunters
Down by the Walmart Corral
Where the quarter horse stands
Waiting for this brave cowpoke to saddle up
And poke a quarter in the slot.
Startled from its quiet slumber
It charges out of the corral,
Bucking like some unbroken bronc
Until it realizes Little Tex can’t be thrown;
Then, its enthusiasm spent,
It refuses to trot one step further.
Little Tex is unhappy… and loudly so.

If Mom and Dad want
Some peace back at the ranch
They’d be better off investing
In a spirited rocking horse,
The kind bred for those long adventures
Across the lonesome prairies
Of Little Tex’s imagination.

Monday, May 5, 2014

May Day

A rustling in the tops of the trees,
Fresh green foliage swaying in the breeze—
The cold nights over at last

Patterns flickering on the ground,
Shadows cast as the sun shines down—
The barren days are past

And the May warmth caresses us,
God’s way of blessing us—
Summer’s coming fast;
Winter’s finally past
And it’s really Spring… at last

Friday, May 2, 2014

The Willies

It’s common for a horror flick
To give us all the Willies—
Those jitters ride our weakened spines
Like nervous studs and fillies!
Don’t ask me why some silly show
Should put us at such ill ease.
A greater question haunts me now:
Why don’t we get the Billies?