Ode to a Wimpy Little Snack Cracker

Behold, thou flimsy cracker!
Thou art but a tiny square of wheat
    or rye
    or millet
    or some such humble flour,
Yet thou art embraced warmly
    by the most distinguished of partygoers!

Tell me, O brittle wafer:
What madness possessed thee,
    that thou didst aspire to the buffet?
Thou art little more than glorified hardtack.
Thy form is too rigid for he who nibbles;
    a single bite causeth thee to shatter.
Yet thou drapest thyself
In the most embarrassing of toppings,
    that thou mayest soil his attire
    with the greatest of ceremony.

O most tantalizing of snacks!
Despite thy fragile nature,
    still will I celebrate thy brazen tastiness.
For the love of thee I humiliate myself,
Even unto the wearing of a bib in public
    that, despite thy flamboyant splatterings,
    yet may I savor thy zesty garnishes unscathed.
And should we meet by chance,
And I be unprepared for thy presence,
    yet shall I risk the disdain of those around me
    and shove thee whole into my mouth
Rather than pass thee by.