No Crime Like the Present

A holiday tradition? Yes, the poorly-chosen gift
Brings mirth to our festivities; it gives us all a lift.
The tasteless Christmas sweater, the gaudy Christmas tie,
And all the dancing, singing dolls that make us wonder, “Why?
What madness fell upon Aunt Lil to make her purchase THAT?
And who left Uncle Tom alone to buy up all THIS crap?”
The poorly-chosen gift might be our oldest Christmas rite…
Except for maybe fruitcakes. (Let’s not bring those up, alright?)