Apple doesn't like listing me as "Will Shakespeare (poetry blogger)"
to differentiate me from the other guy, although everybody else does.
They took my first book but now won't take new ones. (Go figure.)
Since Smashwords distributes my books to Apple anyway,
just go to my Smashwords author page and download EPUBs from there.
Smashwords provides samples of my books also.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Christmas Superhero

Another Christmas song parody—this time,
a parody of a parody! The tune is from
Weird Al Yankovic’s Christmas at Ground Zero.
I rearranged the verses a bit to eliminate
the instrumental part; it’s a bit easier to sing this way
and you could write all kinds of extra verses to sing…

He’s a Christmas superhero
Though he isn’t very svelte
When he walks, he jiggles
‘Cause his big belly wiggles
As it hangs over his belt
He’s a Christmas superhero
But his costume’s not très chic
Such a pimpish vibe isn’t dignified
When you walk an L.A. street

All the kids are screaming for attention
Impossible demands for Christmas night
He’s been thinking things we shouldn’t mention—
Those little monsters are his Kryptonite

Even Christmas superheros
Don’t get to double-park their sleigh
So the traffic patrol
Called Animal Control
And they hauled his deer away
Hey, Christmas superhero!
The barman’s getting tough:
“With your big red nose and your ho-ho-hos
Bud, I think you’ve had enough!”

Staggering into the sports department
Pulling down a shotgun from the shelf
No one here believes he’s hunting partridge—
He’s gonna be a naughty little elf!

The Christmas superhero
Is bringing it this year
The shoppers are running
‘Cause Santa Claus is coming
With a boomstick of Christmas cheer
The Christmas superhero
Is driving ‘em lively and quick;
Whether naughty or nice, you better think twice
‘Bout a visit from old Saint Nick.
Whether naughty or nice, you better think twice
‘Bout a visit from old Saint Nick!

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