Waterboy (aka Sweater Weather)

It’s so hot, I’m meeeltiiiing…

According to most scientists
I’m mainly H2O, but this
Confuses me. How can it be
That heat has this effect on me?

You see, at ninety-eight-point-six
Degrees, I’m warmer than the breeze
That’s turning me into a puddle.
I’m far too wet to kiss and cuddle!

An ICE CUBE melts. MY heated state
Should cause me to evaporate,
Thus carrying the heat away
And cooling me throughout the day.

Instead, I’ll be a lesser man
Whose fate is irrigating land;
Perhaps they’ll plant a tree for me.
(I’ll water it posthumously.)