Rash Wednesday

In case you don't know, Mardi Gras
(or "Fat Tuesday") is the last day of
gluttony before the season of Lent
begins on Ash Wednesday (today) -- 
a period of repentance and fasting.
I chose to take a slightly tongue-in-cheek
approach to this last indulgence before Easter.

Fat Tuesday is over
But not the hangover;
The beads on the bedpost are blurry.
We’re feeling like trash as
We repent in ashes
And hope to come clean in a hurry.

Lent season’s when sinners
Bypass a few dinners;
They fast and they pray without jest.
But it’s no sacrifice
After yesterday’s vice –
We’re all glad to give parties a rest!

Who thought up this racket?
And why’d the Church back it?
Don’t people know God’s not a fool?
To become such a mess
Just so you can confess
Makes you sound like the worst kind of tool!

So heat up that coffee
And sober up! Lofty
Delusions won’t help you this season.
Thank God you’re alive
And just stop all this jive.
I'm quite sure that your liver will thank you!

NOTE: This is an excellent example of how
accidents happen. That last line should have read:
"You can say that your liver's the reason!"