A Black Friday legend inspired
By the old movie Quest for Fire.
The hungry tribe gathers around
An ancient burned-out FryDaddy®.
Children wail as their French fries float
Limply on the cooling peanut oil.
They can't wait for Cyber Monday.
Reluctantly, tribal elders
Journey to the feeding frenzy
Following Thanksgiving dinner.
Stretching into Friday morning,
Tribes of tired bargain seekers
Trudge along the crowded aisles in
Hopes of finding something novel,
Something to ignite the flaming
Passions of those on their Christmas
Gift lists – name brands, inexpensive
Stocking stuffers, lucky guesses.
They are at the mercy of the
Chain store buyers, clueless minions
Looking for a deal themselves – a
Deal that empties shoppers' purses.
The elders travel far and wide,
From one big box store to the next,
From department to department,
Praying for one overlooked fryer
Amid the rubble in the aisles.
Valiantly they brave the legions
Struggling through the checkout melee.
They are unable to escape
Without some unplanned purchases.
Will the trials and tribulations
They endured during this hunting
Expedition finally bring
Cheer to hungry children at home?
This they know: Their family will
Have the gifts that keep on giving…
Fried nerves, burning guilt, and every
Credit lender's hot little hands
Clawing at their empty pockets.
And the fryer will be burned out
By Sunday night. Cyber Monday
Will claim yet another victim.