For reasons I can't fathom,
City folks think they're at war.
They choose a mode of transport
Better suited for the Corps.
Admittedly, a Hummer's great
When potholes line your street.
If you like hopping medians
And curbs, it's pretty sweet.
You always find a parking place
The second you appear—
The normal cars all scatter 'cause
They know you're parking HERE!
But Hummers seem impractical
For daily use in town.
I don't see why those people need
A tank to get around.
They need an elevator just
To reach the driver's seat.
It's hard to wash the windows
And they're too wide for the street.
They never take them off the road
Since that would get them dirty.
The only combat most will see
Is traffic at 5:30.
Yes, modern roads are dangerous
And urban life is war…
But no one needs a Hummer just
To run down to the store.
So even if its gas bill
Doesn't leave you destitute,
It's overkill for any town…
Unless your town's Beirut.
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