Deerly Departed

Welcome to the Reindeer Games,
Honoring the famous names
Of those whose charge across the road
Became their final episode.
Their banner, flying at half-mast,
Reminds us of the way they passed—
Two pairs of rings that symbolize
The headlights shining in their eyes.
And once the ceremonies end,
The competition will begin.
With blazing speed, excited deer
Make unsuspecting drivers veer;
Each throws a high-speed body check
Against a car to cause a wreck
While judges gauge the damage, based
On splatter, shock, and lack of taste.
The winners—silver, gold, and bronze—
Are picked and, joined by wide-eyed fawns,
Survivors praise the famous three.
(They get awards posthumously.)