Apple doesn't like listing me as "Will Shakespeare (poetry blogger)"
to differentiate me from the other guy, although everybody else does.
They took my first book but now won't take new ones. (Go figure.)
Since Smashwords distributes my books to Apple anyway,
just go to my Smashwords author page and download EPUBs from there.
Smashwords provides samples of my books also.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Dick and Jane Order Pizza

Dick and Jane stories must stay relevant.
A very modern tale for modern kids.

See Dick. Dick is hungry. Hear Dick call Jane:
“Hello, Jane! I am hungry. I want food.
Do you want food?”
“I want food too!” says Jane.
Dick thinks hard. “I know. Let us have pizza!”
Jane smiles. “Yes, pizza is good. Pizza is
Very good. Let us have pizza! I will
Come over and eat with you!” Dick calls out
For pizza. Jane comes over. Dick and Jane
And wait.
And wait.
They wait for an hour
But the pizza man does not come. How sad!
Dick calls the pizza man and complains.
See Dick lose it. Lose it, Dick, lose it!
Hear Dick bark out expletives. Bark them out,
Dick, bark them out! See Dick slam the phone down.
Someone rings the doorbell. Jane answers it.
It is a policeman. The pizza man
Was upset and complained to the police.
The officer tries to arrest Dick. Dick
Resists arrest. Jane is in a bad mood.
See Jane lose it. Lose it, Jane, lose it!
The policeman arrests both Dick and Jane.
Dick and Jane spend the night in the big house.
Three hours later, their pizza arrives.
Spot attacks the pizza delivery man.
Dick and Jane do not have pizza; Spot has
Pizza. Dick is sued. Spot is put to sleep.
Jane is admitted into therapy.
Dick and Jane do not eat pizza again;
Pizza is way too expensive.
The end.

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