Yes, this one is incredibly bad. Perhaps that’s why I like it so much!
Personally, I can’t help but pronounce “sooner” as “sue-in-ner” in the last line.
First Cleo married Julius Caesar;
He got killed, which didn’t please her.
So then poor Cleo thought that she
Would team up with Marc Antony.
Alas, her plans all came to naught;
Augustus met Marc’s forces, fought,
And kicked his butt and sank his ships
‘Cause a traitor proved to have loose lips.
She sued for peace, she really tried
But Marc committed suicide
And left her facing Rome alone.
One snakebite later, she was gone.
She faced a truth that didn’t please her:
No one beats Augustus Caesar.
She said—pre-death but after he ruined her—
“I wish someone had Ptolemy sooner.”