The animal kingdom is bursting with swag—
The antlers that crown all the mating-age stags,
The colorful spread of the male peacock’s fan,
And the heavy gold chains of the skirt-chasing man.
But horns help that stag in its quest for a mate
And birds flash those feathers to help them get laid.
The guys with the chains find that ladies just mock ‘em;
A pawn shop’s the place for those chains, boy—just hock ‘em!