Behold, thou flimsy cracker!
Thou art but a tiny square of wheat
or some such humble flour,
Yet thou art embraced warmly
by the most distinguished of partygoers!
Tell me, O brittle wafer:
What madness possessed thee,
that thou didst aspire to the buffet?
Thou art little more than glorified hardtack.
Thy form is too rigid for he who nibbles;
a single bite causeth thee to shatter.
Yet thou drapest thyself
In the most embarrassing of toppings,
that thou mayest soil his attire
with the greatest of ceremony.
O most tantalizing of snacks!
Despite thy fragile nature,
still will I celebrate thy brazen tastiness.
For the love of thee I humiliate myself,
Even unto the wearing of a bib in public
that, despite thy flamboyant splatterings,
yet may I savor thy zesty garnishes unscathed.
And should we meet by chance,
And I be unprepared for thy presence,
yet shall I risk the disdain of those around me
and shove thee whole into my mouth
Rather than pass thee by.