With all the cold weather, I started to wonder
what an overdrawn weather account might be like…
I meant to go play golf today;
the sun was shining bright.
But when I stepped outside the door
the weather wasn’t right.
I saw icicles on the trees
and all the ground was white;
I shivered as I felt the teeth
of winter’s icy bite.
Inside, I snuggled by the fire
and called my weatherman
to try and get some answers fast.
If he can’t help, who can?
“What happened to my balmy day?
I had a golf trip planned,
not riding on a dog sled through
this Arctic no-man’s-land!”
My weatherman hurrumphed his throat
and said, “My records show
your warmth account is overdrawn.
The temperature’s below
our normal daily average
because of what you owe.
It seems you’re short a few degrees.
You’re lucky it’s just snow.”
I slammed the phone down in disgust.
I didn’t want to hear
how my account was negative
so early in the year!
I’ve only used a few good days
to help my mind get clear
from all the crap we’ve had at work.
This seems a bit severe!
I understand I’ll have another
month or two of this
before they get the balance straight.
My rampant avarice
has messed up weather everywhere,
from Cali to Ole Miss…
but it’s always nice on X-box.
Hope they don’t count cyber hits!