ATTENTION IPAD USERS!
Apple doesn't like listing me as "Will Shakespeare (poetry blogger)"
to differentiate me from the other guy, although everybody else does.
They took my first book but now won't take new ones. (Go figure.)
Since Smashwords distributes my books to Apple anyway,
just go to my Smashwords author page and download EPUBs from there.
Smashwords provides samples of my books also.

Monday, December 23, 2013

They Left It on the Doorstep Here

Another new Christmas carol, to the tune of
It Came Upon the Midnight Clear.

They left it on the doorstep here,
That present that Amazon sold;
Delivery was at half past three—
At least, that’s what I’m told.
But there’s no package awaiting me
So I gave the mailman a ring…
And while that silly Muzak played
I didn’t learn a thing.

For though I ordered it in advance
In hopes of avoiding this game,
It doesn’t matter how hard I try;
The outcome’s always the same.
The gifts I’ve chosen are out of stock
Or multiple orders get crossed;
And should the packages finally ship,
Along the way they get lost.

The days till Christmas are hast’ning on;
Now all of the good stuff’s been sold
And all my planning’s been shot to hell—
My mailman’s answer was cold:
When forms I’ve filed tell them that the box
Is gone from my doorstep here,
Perhaps they’ll choose to make good my claim
And save my Christmas cheer. [optional: AMEN!]

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