I was walking the dog the other day and…
Two canines, out with masters walking,
Pause to chat a while.
“Well, howdy do!” the first one says
While sniffing some place vile.
“I’m fine… and you?” the second says
As he responds in kind.
“Hmmm… have we maybe met before?
Some other place and time?”
“I seriously doubt it, friend,”
The first says with a snort.
“I’m pretty sure I’d know your scent
If we had sniffed before.
It’s possible you’ve met the guys
I often hang around;
They frequently get lost, and so
I mark the silly clowns.”
“Oh no, I’m sure,” the second says,
“I know this scent quite well.
I’m certain that we’ve met before;
I just can’t place the tail.”
The first insists, “Forget it, friend;
Don’t let it drive you nuts.
You’ve just confused my nether parts
With someone else’s butt.”
“I know you now!” the second snarls,
His growl at fever pitch.
“I smelled you at my pad last night.
You’re sleeping with my bitch!”
“Perhaps I am,” the first dog says;
He doesn’t seem upset.
“It’s not my fault you’re such a dog!
You treat her like a pet.
If you were more concerned with her
Than running with the pack,
Perhaps she’d sniff your own behind,
Not sniff behind your back.”
And then the first dog lifts his leg;
He marks the second’s tail.
I guess tonight that girl will know
Which one’s her alpha male!