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Monday, December 24, 2012

Mayan Mistake

How could I let the end of the world pass without a poem?

Miscalculating Mayan minds
Prepared to meet their end
At midnight on the 21st.
They weren’t prepared to send
Out Christmas gifts if they were wrong;
No shopping had been done.
A million screaming children meant
This week would not be fun!

The parents told their kids to hush:
“We’re too late for the Christmas rush!”

Some argued that the calendar
Might be few days off…
But kids weren’t buying that excuse.
Some even dared to scoff:
“You’ve had 5000 years (or so)
To get this Christmas right.
We could have partied earlier…
No, you did this for spite!
You say you knew the end would come?
Then why not break the bank
Since credit bills would never come?
You’d have our lasting thanks!
Instead we’ve got no Christmas gifts;
We’ve got no Christmas turkey.
We’re stuck with used patolli boards
And month-old python jerky!”

Miscalculating Mayan minds
Prepared to meet their end
At midnight on the 21st.
They never planned to spend
The next b’ak’tun (or maybe two)
Anticipating doom
From children stripped of Christmas cheer
When the world did not go “boom.”

For the Mayan adults, whose children bawl,
It looks like the end came after all.
Merry Christmas to everyone else!

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