Please don't ask me where this came from—
I have no idea at all!
According to mythology,
The God of War's biology
Met Aphrodite's embryonia
And bore a nymph they called Harmonia.
(I know some say she came from Zeus
And Electra. I think that's a ruse.
When gods and mortals start to "sweating,"
A demigod's what they're begetting!
She'd then be either girl or goddess…
But nymphs are neither; they're just oddness.)
Harmonia got the hots for Ares.
(In Greek myth, it's quite customary
For goddish parents and goddish kids
To do things normal folks forbid.)
At any rate, they both got busy
At speeds that must have made them dizzy
And, in a breeding marathon,
Created all the Amazons.
Now I don't mean to sound contrary,
But nymphs are basically just fairies.
My books say nymphs just dance and sing
And do a lot of fairy things.
That doesn't sound like Amazons
To me. They run around in bronze
Braziers with swords and shields and stuff.
I think they all sound pretty tough!
So I don't mean to sound contrary
But I doubt Amazons are fairies.
There's just no way these chicks are prancing
Through the Grecian woods, entrancing
Grecian boys to have a fling
Or doing other nymphish things.
They might not be his kids at all.
When Ares joined that ten-year brawl
Of Greeks and Trojans, men and boys…
A human kicked his ass at Troy!
Perhaps the girls said, "Hey, we're tough!
We'll prove we're made of sterner stuff
Than him. We won't be known as fairies
Like that ditzy dipsy Ares!"
I doubt there's anybody rarer
Than those who made it past the terror
Of Amazons grown tired of hearing
Fairy haters and their jeering.
So should you meet with Ares's wards
And find them armed with shields and swords…
I'd never mention old man Ares
And never, EVER call them fairies!