ATTENTION IPAD USERS!
Apple doesn't like listing me as "Will Shakespeare (poetry blogger)"
to differentiate me from the other guy, although everybody else does.
They took my first book but now won't take new ones. (Go figure.)
Since Smashwords distributes my books to Apple anyway,
just go to my Smashwords author page and download EPUBs from there.
Smashwords provides samples of my books also.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Another Vacation

I’m working on some fiction,
The kind that doesn’t rhyme.
I won’t be posting for a while
Until I have more time.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Going on Blind Data

I’m not certain what she looks like;
I just take her at her word.
She could be Medusa’s cousin
Or a cow cut from the herd.

Yes, I see her posted picture;
It’s quite prominent online.
But a picture’s just a picture;
She might not be quite so fine.

Though her dossier’s quite thorough
I can’t verify she’s her,
And although things seem in order
She might even be a sir!

That’s the risk when you start dating
Girls next door in cyberspace;
Though she’s virtually perfect
Her true past may be erased.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Itty Bitty Kitty

That itty bitty kitty
It clawed up my nice new chair
That itty bitty kitty
It left lots of scratches there
It’s barely as big as my balled-up fist
But the damage it caused just could not be missed
That itty bitty kitty
It clawed up my nice new chair

That itty bitty kitty
Threw cat litter everywhere
That itty bitty kitty
It snarled and the dog got scared
It looks like it’s merely a ball of fur
But it arches its back and it causes a stir
That itty bitty kitty
Threw cat litter everywhere

That itty bitty kitty
I want that thing out of here
That itty bitty kitty
It’s the sum of my darkest fears
I won’t live my life as some scared cat’s paw
No, I’ll send it to live with my mother-in-law
That itty bitty kitty
I want that thing out of here…NOW!

Friday, March 6, 2015

C Notes

By taking vitamin C each day
My minimum needs are filled;
I get a dozen oranges’ worth
By taking just one pill.
I don’t wind up with sticky hands
Or piles of orange peel.
Plus, given how much the fresh fruit costs,
My vitamins are a steal!

In centuries past, a pirate crew
Was a scurvy crew indeed,
For they had no C to keep them well
When they sailed for months at sea.
So count your lucky stars, my friend!
Though most folks aren’t angelic,
They might act even worse without
These tasteless little pellets.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

March, Not Slide

“In like a lion, out like a lamb,”
The old folks used to say…
But what I’d like to hear is how
To send the snow away.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Gray Sweats Blues

This 12-bar blues song could use more verses, but this is all I have for now. And for those who don’t know, “tats” is slang for tattoos.

Some people, they like Spandex
They blind you at the gym
They think they’re looking good
With their florescent skinny limbs
Just give me gray sweats
The soggy blotchy stinky kind
Don’t want no bright distractions
When I got heavy workouts on my mind

Some people rip their sleeves out
To prove their tats are cool
Their biceps swell with effort
While proclaiming “There’s No Rules!”
Just give me gray sweats
I like ‘em boring, nondescript
Don’t wanna read no slogans
Don’t want discussions, boy—just get me ripped

Friday, February 27, 2015

Six Inches Under

Dearly beloved, I write this ode
In memory of this once-clear road
On which we went anywhere we planned—
But now, on which we can barely stand!
There’s ice beneath and snow on top;
If your car gets going, it won’t soon stop!
Too late you’ll see the danger zone;
Repair bills will kill all the cash you own.
Just trust me, the road to ruin won’t show…
But it’s there, under half a foot of snow.